In transit to Pakistan to visit my girlfriend, I stumbled upon this article about gender equality. Although I knew that Pakistan dealt with terrorism, rape and honour killings, it wasn’t until I read this article that I gained full perspective about how fortunate my Pakistani girlfriend is to have been born into a family with the means to offer her a good education and the open mindedness to allow her to pursue a career.
I understand that many people are hesitant to visit Pakistan these days due to worries about safety and the issues mentioned above. It didn’t take me much convincing though, cause if my girlfriend feels safe and secure enough to live there, why shouldn’t I visit? When inviting me to stay with her, my girlfriend assured me that she would escort me to and from the airport which alleviated my number one concern and she would show me around so that I never went out alone which alleviated my Mom’s number one concern. It helped to know that my girlfriend had lived abroad for a few years before choosing to move back home.
During my visit I sampled local life by living at my girlfriend’s house, shadowing her at work and partying with her social set. It was seeing how she lived at home that intrigued me the most. As Pakistan has one of the lowest costs of living in the world, it’s understandable that those who do well for themselves live very well. Her family employs one live-in housekeeper/cook, two maids, three drivers and too many security guards for me to count. (Her family employs more security guards and has stricter security protocols than most locals due to her family’s high profile media business.) This all added up to much more luxury than I’m used to in Canada. For example, the house was cleaned thoroughly each day and each bedroom has an ensuite bathroom, the drivers have been with her family for years and I felt very comfortable when we drove around the city, and I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed having the cook offer me a myriad of breakfast choices each day. I enjoyed eating the delicious food he made just as much as he enjoyed having an extra hungry mouth to feed. In short, I couldn’t have expected treatment this good at the best five star hotel.
Whenever I had the opportunity, I pestered my girlfriend with questions about life in Pakistan. I learned that most people with cars hire drivers and although many drive around with security guards in Karachi, it’s much less common elsewhere in Pakistan. The extra security in Karachi is partly due to a past history of cell phone car muggings and even though the level of crime has decreased from what it was, the level of precautions taken by residents has not really dropped. I learned that the government has recently cracked down on street beggars who used to be found at every intersection. The poor have adapted to the new laws and now can be found selling things on the corners instead of begging. In Canada, squeegee kids are not looked upon favorably, but here their existence is an improvement. Some begging still exists and I was particularly saddened to witness women on the street asking for money while carrying drugged babies for extra sympathy. The worst part is that these babies usually don’t even belong to those women. I also learned about the local dress habits of women: leggings or loose pants with a kurta and usually a scarf are the norm in public. Jeans are not uncommon but not usually worn on the street and the keys to respectfulness are keeping shoulders and legs covered and having something loose draping below the hips.
Staying with my girlfriend brought the unexpected perk of various social invitations. Pakistan is a generally a strictly religious country, but those who party do it well. I’m talking about a full outdoor club built in someone’s backyard for a one night party and house parties that run late and where the liquor is free flowing and only high-end. These are the kind of parties that see girls visiting the salon every weekend to keep their hair and nails on point and where outfits are not repeated. It’s not the kind of party life that I’m used to and it was great fun to live it for a few nights.
Seeing how my girlfriend lives in Pakistan not only affirmed my respect for her as a woman in control of her destiny, it increased my pride in knowing such a wonderful woman. She balances her work and home responsibilities, treats those in her employ with professionalism and maintains the respect of her peers in a country that deals with terrorism, severe poverty and serious women’s issues on a regular basis.
Cheers to you, girl and thanks again!